I took a deep breath, asking myself again, Why Do I Hate Myself so much and I can’t proceed with my life goals? Is this begins from the day they call me fat, ugly, and timid? Why Do I Hate Myself?
Is there something that was not born in me, something lacking in my life, or is my subconscious mind been staying in the past that I can’t let go? What is that?
Have you been feeling the same? I am not successful enough, not making enough money to have a better life, not happy enough, not having fulfilling relationships, not meeting the right husband or wife, why everyone on Facebook looks happy and loved, but not me?
Have you been addicted to… hating yourself?
Maybe you have been addicted to the things you do, the food you eat, the gossips, to the people you dislike. It is even possible that we are subconsciously addicted to the things we are not aware of.
You are always feeling “NOT ENOUGH”. Everything is never enough in your life. I am not having a depression or anxiety, but I am just… not enough. I am too fat not slim enough.
Is that you? It is part of me. Sometimes I am fine, but… not all time.
Why Do I Hate Myself – 5 Facts You Need To Know
1. You are letting others in
Pick the noise around you carefully. People tend to give a lot of opinions about the things that we do. To them, these are only the suggestion. In the dictionary, SUGGESTION is the action of calling up an idea in someone’s mind by associating it with other things.” In layman terms, people around us tend to leave their ideas in our mind, without having to take any responsibility.
“You can’t.”, “It is too risky”, “Why are you acting like that?”, “You’re too fat, too weird, too lazy.”, “You didn’t work hard enough.” Are you allowing them to label you?
- the condemned from your parents since young
- the biased teacher’s comments
- the social media posting
- your beliefs from religion
- experience from the setback
- the defeated feelings from failures, from love, marriage, work, and friends
Let me ask you.
Is it worth it to live a whole life with the abovementioned condemnation?
Disapproving the labeling. It is not death sentence. We are inborn with doable improvements skills.
Take good care of your conscious mind, and your subconscious mind will take good care of your actions.
The conscious mind responds with analysis after one commented or given suggestions to the statement you make. For instance: You are simply too lazy.
Conscious mind started to analyze from,
- why am I being commented that I am lazy?
- is that true?
- if that is true, what do I do to change that
- if that is false, justify it and dis-label it
Subconscious mind takes your decision and implement into your actions.
- the subconscious mind works quietly
- you are not aware of it, but working very hard, for instance, for breathing, digestion system when you are asleep
- no arguments and debate
- the subconscious mind will only take what is being told and execute
2. You are capable to change the way you think
We deserve a life without judgement and imprisonment. All we need to care about is what we do to bring no harm to others and constantly improving ourselves. Only moving forward with self-realization and reflection can change the way we look at ourselves.
It is amazing that more studies have shown our brain path is elastic. It can be trained, rewired and reprogram. Yes, our mindset can be reset and reprogram.
Neuroplasticity – According to Wikipedia, our brain is plasticity, it is also known as neural plasticity. Our brain has the ability to undergo restructuring and physiological changes with a proper plan and training.
Neural pathways – A neural pathway is a connection formed by axons that project from neurons to make synapses onto neurons in another location, to enable a signal to be sent from one region of the nervous system to another. (source from Wikipedia)
“When brain cells communicate frequently, the connection between them strengthens and the messages that travel the same pathway in the brain over and over begin to transmit faster and faster. With enough repetition, these behaviors become new habits.” – Psychologist Deann Ware, Ph.D.
Many has believed that our past has formed who we are, the memories cannot be eliminated after years of accumulations of pain.
But studies have done and reported that the way we think all along can be altered anytime we want and our brain pathway will change accordingly.
Dr. Joseph Murphy has given many examples in his book, “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind”. Many of the examples including himself, had used the subconscious mind to heal their body and change their life to be better. It is simply put in good thoughts and rewire your uncontrollable thoughts to be in control.
When we are sick, all we want to know is I will recover soon. When we face obstacles and setback, we want to hear motivational talk. When we are not doing the mundane work, we are not different, but we are extraordinary. We are unique. We accept that everyone is born differently, and the path we are coming from and heading to, are different but we will be fine.
So how not to let the interferers in?
We often let our mind wander, we allow it to fill in with what we see, what we hear from others, and receive the unnecessary inputs and suggestions.
Now you know “suggestion” is the idea that being ignited by others, it can be good and bad. You wouldn’t want to have unconstructive comments in your head. Choose carefully what shall stay and what shall not.
Suggestion – The action of influencing a person to accept an idea or belief uncritically, especially as a technique in hypnosis.
3. Neuroplasticity – Your mindset can be rewired
Why are we doing the same thing again and again? Because our mind ask us to. That’s the result of letting our minds wandering off. We go back to old habits. It is easier to adapt than replan, to re-implementing a new habit.
We all hate it I know, but you know too it is not going to change if we done nothing about our past. The past has left you, but you are harping on the past and can’t let it go, so what can you gain from the past?
The reason that we hard to let go of the past, mainly because we are not filling up enough new information into our life. Once we starting to put in new thoughts into our minds, we can remove our old habits from the past.
As you put in new things into our brain will create new neural pathways. The more we insert, the more the brain pathways will work out for you. Keep repeating to do the same new thing can form a new habit, brain pathways will reform accordingly.
Repetition creates wonder here, by reminding your brain pathway memory to accept the new concepts in life. Eventually, the pathways will be completely formed and replace old thoughts. It takes 3 to 6 months for a new habit to stay and last, it depends on the individual. Everyone has a different past, this it takes vary time to entirely reprogram.
Some people are more sensitive to smells, voices, touch, pictures, and even taste. An Individual’s preference will be to slowly reveal with some exercise tests. It can be done by yourself or with professional help.
4. Take lead of the subconscious mind
Let the help in.
Having a change of environment can be a big help. Meeting new people to get inspired by their stories, mingle with people that have a similar experience of life story can get mental and social supports.
For some people that prefer to do it alone, you can remain where you are. Set a time every day, close your eyes to allow your mind to have time to visualize images, pictures of the ideal life you are looking for.
Close your eyes in a quiet space, it can be a room, it can be a peaceful park. As long as your mind is clear with your favorite visuals. The best time to do it is before you sleep.
Subconscious will be hearing what your conscious mind delivers, shimmer it through your sleep and subconscious mind will perform what has been told the next morning.
It is like a brain remapping process. Brain delivers messages from one area to another for productivity.
An new identity of oneself got to be redesign. A new life starts every morning, everyone deserve to review, reflect and restart again next day.
Start telling your mind, if the change is possible you are going to let go of the past, leave the old role with yesterday, and have a new identity and start a brand new day.
Decide what kind of person you want to be, fix a new plan, and keep living it for the coming 3 to 6 months. To let the new habits sit in solid.
5. Seek help from the professional
It is okay to seek help from the professional. If you are on the budget and want to keep it low from your friends and neighbors, you can consider am online help.
If you are looking for one, you can check out Marion Neubronner – 3-Step Neuro-Remapping System. She is known for being the Harvard Psychologist that helps many.
Marion is ICC certified and meets North American standards for certification and is currently working with her Mentor from ICF on the ICF certification process.
She has a Masters in Human Development and Psychology from Harvard, a diploma in counseling from Temasek Polytechnic, Singapore, and a distinction in Teaching from the National Institute of Education, Singapore.
She trained Olympic Athletes that had encountered fear. Fortune 500 CEO that is under a lot of pressure. Air force pilots that want to keep up the competitive ranks.
The Good Force
Marion has invented this 3-step Neuro-Remapping, online budget materials so that she can help more people to forget the past and thrive.
She helps people with addictions. As I mentioned above, we can be addicted to the things we don’t know. It can be the hatred of yourself, the food we eat, the gossips, the offend we are subconsciously addicted to. You need Marion to help you to reveal what is going on inside you.
Work harmoniously with our brains. Lead our subconscious mind to a better cause. Remapping our brain and believing it can be done. We need a new identity and start to live a life we want. Improving ourselves constantly is a good start.
The process of remapping starts from Replay… Rewrite… Reset.
It is not you that failed, it is your brain that needs guidance. Nothing wrong with you and me, we just have to learn to communicate with our minds. The conscious and the subconscious mind that we have been neglected for long.
Stop allowing others to label yourself and let others opinion in. Spend more time to learn what is stopping us from move forward, this is our only life. Be the only Helmsman of your sailing life.
Be a striker. The haters remain haters. The winner continue to win.
Why Do I Hate Myself – 5 Facts You Need To Know